Tomorrow, I’m turning thirty. And I’m excited. More excited than I’m expected to be. People’s reaction to growing older troubles me quite a bit.
Why is everyone so gloomy about growing older? Some don’t want the cake to have three huge candles. Some want to keep their age secret. Some asked if I can’t wait to get married.
All seems to suggest that our worth (as a woman) greatly depreciate as we age, that our value lies in our youth and beauty, and success is when we find a husband.
This is what I’ve been fighting since teenhood. My worth is much more than my face or my body, or whether someone wants to date/marry me or not. Unfortunately, girls are often given the message that youth and beauty is their (only) asset.
So I feel compelled to state that there are many things that we can be proud of besides our youth and beauty. Instead of being obsessed with our appearance, these are the things worth chasing for and are most likely to improve with time:
Are you close to your family? Do you make it a point to spend time together? Do you try to make them happy? Do you always pick fights? Are you patient or do you lose your temper easily? Are you gentle with your words?
Do you keep in touch with your friends? Are you making new ones? Does your friends enjoy being with you? Do you burden them with your negativity or do you lift them up with constant encouragement? Do you gossip about them or do you defend them? Do you remember their birthdays?
Are you friendly with people you’ve just met? Are you open to talk to anybody and not judge them by their race, religion, background, gender, etc? Are you able to converse with absolutely anybody?
Do you have faith that someone is bigger than you? Or at the very least subscribe to a life philosophy? Do you know how you want to live your life? Who do you turn to when everything is not right?
Do you treat everyone equally and have same manners for everyone? Would you push others down to climb on top? Are you punctual or do you think your time is worth more than others? Do you say one thing and do another? Do you keep to your words?
Are you loving? Do you think of yourself or others first? Do you have bad thoughts about other people or do you want the best for everyone? Do you harbour hatred on someone or do you do learn to forgive? Do you give unconditionally or do you expect everything to be done for you?
Do you have a peace of mind? Or are you troubled with things you have no control over? Are you present or distracted with daily worries? Are you able to sleep well at night? Do you feel at peace with yourself, people and the world?
Do you think you know everything and resistant to learning? Do you think that everyone has something to teach you? Are you still curious? Do you want to learn and make time for it? Do you keep an open mind?
Do you believe you can do anything if you put your mind to it? Do you get out of your comfort zone? Do you get angry easily when teased or corrected? Do you put up with abusive relationship? Will stand up for yourself? Will you stand up for someone else?
What are you able and willing to do? Can you write computer codes and improve softwares for many? Can you entertain a crowd with a musical instrument? Can you lend a listening ear to someone who needs you? Can you make a meal for your family? What do you have to offer? And do you offer it often? Are you independent or are you reliant on others?
Are you treating your body right? Do you exercise and eat as well as you can? Or do you sit infront of the TV and eat junk food? Are you lethargic? Do you feel your best?
Are you happy? Do you take delight in the simplest thing or are you hard to please? Do you smile and laugh often? Or do you frown and pout at everything? Are you contented with what you have or are you jealous of others? Are you fun to be with or are you a sour grape? Do you do things that makes you feel good? Do you have a hobby? Do you know how to poke fun of yourself or do you take yourself too seriously?
Yes, we all want to look young and beautiful. It’s perfectly fine. But it’s not okay when women think that that’s their only, if not major, worth. It’s not okay to spend most of their time on it, and forgetting other things that matters more. It’s not okay to forget that growing older and being able to celebrate birthdays is a blessing. It’s not okay to think that youth is all we have. It is not.
How should we live our twenties? In such a way that youth is not our only commodity.
A woman’s market value does not necessarily decline with time.
Your body is not for looking at; it’s for doing things.